Is He Going To Marry You?
So is he going to marry you? That is the big question that the biggest percentage of the women find themselves asking. Have you ever wonder why 80% of the couples don’t actually take the next step and marry and why there relationship just stay in that infinite place in between?
Try to remember the last time that somebody ask you to fill in a form, one of the very first questions that you had to answer was regarding your marital status. It is that small box that is always there in from of you and answers to the question are you married or not. Cause although everything is going great in your life you are really happy, whether that means that you just moved in with your other half or you are just dating or maybe you have been living together for so long there is always a but. And there comes the small box that you come across every now and then and you know that when you see it right in your hurt you will feel a small pain, sometimes almost unnoticeable but you know that it was always there. But on the other hand you know that not all relationships are heading there, actually just a few will turn into marriage. So, what it is actually happening and you are not in the next step planning your wedding and you are at these sometimes lovely but sometimes uncomfortable place of in between.
Psychologist say that it is completely natural to be in between, perhaps one may be ready to move and the other isn’t feeling the same at these point but in the end half of the couples will eventually short these out. It does not indicate that theses is a bad sign for your relationship as long as you don’t stay there for a long time. And these is because the insecurity that comes with it will eventually create a big distance between you and your partner. For example if she is saving money for the wedding and he plans a big trip with his friends that will cost a lot then inevitable at some point they will end up in a big argument. It is important for a couple to be sincere and clear of there wants and needs and that comes as a result of an open relationship where both parties feel free to discuss everything. So how you move in the next step? Is he going to ask you to marry him? It depends from the phase you are.
Phase 1: Are we together or are we not?
You have been dating for a few weeks now and you are having such a great time but it is not clear if you are in a relationship or not. And there is that moment when you introduce him and you actually do not know if you should introduce him as your boyfriend or just your friend. Should you ask him how he feels about it or maybe you feel that you really don’t have to put a label in what you have?
Next Step:The answer is actually simple, if you start going out with his friends then there is a big possibility that you are actually a couple. According to a recent research that actually can happen between 6 and 12 date. And no matter how negative people can be about labels and think that these is too old fashion, labels do mind. Cause if you are dating for quite a long time it is important to start heading in the same direction. On the other hand if you never refer to him as your boyfriend maybe you imply that you are in an open relationship and that he may be free to be available for other people to meet so would you be comfortable with that? If the answer is yes then great you are on the same page if not then you need to clear first to you and then to him if you consider him as your boyfriend.
Phase 2: But are we moving too fast?
He asked you to move in with him. But do you feel ready to take the next step? When things are moving too fast you may find yourself creating a strong need to start running as fast as you can in the opposite direction. In some cases when someone is too willing to do certain things our instinct may start telling us that he is desperate and that doesn’t make him appealing.
Next Step: Try to keep in mind that there is no need to rush. Try to know your partners needs and thoughts and communicate in a clear way yours as well. For example tell him that you may start by living together during weekends and you will see how it goes. But on the other hand if you are in a relationship for a long time, actually for a few years and you still don’t want to live together maybe that is not a positive sign for your relationships future.
Phase 3: Is he going to ask me to marry him?
Although women have struggled to be equal with the partner, 80% will never pop the question to their boyfriends. That said, it is left to the other side to control and decide for that moment, the moment that it is a dream for many women. Now the tricky part is to find when is the right moment. If the question comes soon but not too soon it is perfect but what happens if you are keep waiting for the big question and he never seems to ask you. And then you find yourself waiting for days, months and then years. Should I give him a note? But that doesn’t sound really romantic does it?
Next Step: For you that decide to give him a note, telling him that if he doesn’t pop the question in the next six months then you wish him luck and happiness in his life be ready to keep that promise when time expires. On the other hand maybe these is not the best way to express what you feel and you may put a lot of pressure to him as well. A fiend of mine told her then boyfriend that time is money and that although they were going to have a great time while there relationship lasted she had other plans on her mind and she wanted to find someone that he will love her for ever cause she was really fed up with insecure boyfriends. She was clear with him from the beginning, she didn’t pressure him at all and six months later they were leaving together and one and a half years later he asked her to marry him.
Phase 4: Oh that baby angel!
Are you dreaming of having a child? Do you feel a small pain in your heart when you see a mother with her child? And do you keep asking yourself the same question? When I will hold my baby angel? But on the other hand you afraid that these is not a top priority in his agenda.
Next Step: Well maybe it is the time to have an open conversation about it. Cause there are some people that just don’t want to have children so if these is the case then it is better to know it from the beginning. If you want to have a child and your boyfriend doesn’t want to but you are ok with that cause you are really happy then everything is fine. But if you find yourself crying in the dark then maybe it is time to move cause you simple don’t want the same things in life and maybe if you compromise now you will loose your chance to be happy in the future and maybe it will be too late then.